


An ANBU's life for me

by Aviss



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviss/pseuds/Aviss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And of all the ANBU, the bravest of the brave was the Hound, the tales of his courage spreading long and wide throughout the land."</p><p>All children in Konoha want to be the Hound when they grow up. Some are not given a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An ANBU's life for me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pentapus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentapus/gifts).



> Written for the Kakairu_fest Winter round 2013 for Pentapus, for the prompt about outsider's POV and ANBU.

1.  
  
"And of all the ANBU, the bravest of the brave was the Hound, the tales of his courage spreading long and wide throughout the land."  
  
Iruka looks at his mother, his eyes wide and shiny, his entire body vibrating with excitement. "I will be the Hound when I grow up!" he says, because he has decided that he will, one day, be the bravest of the brave, and he will also save everyone in the village with his heroic deeds.  
  
His mother smiles indulgently at him, putting down the book on the shelf and leaning down to ruffle his hair. "You have to be very strong to be the Hound."  
  
"I will be!" Iruka insists, his voice filled with conviction. "I will be the strongest to protect you, and father, and grandma, and even the silly Anko from next door! You will see, I will protect everyone!"  
  
His mother laughs, and he can see his father leaning against the door also laughing. "Well said Iruka, that's how you become strong, protecting your family and friends," his father says, approaching his bed to stand side by side with his wife, both of them looking at Iruka with love and pride.  
  
"Anko is not my friend," he protests, his mouth opening in a yawn, eyes half closed  
  
"Of course not, Iruka," his mother says, and she's still laughing, but Iruka doesn't care because he feels warm and loved and she's petting his hair, and he's almost asleep. "But you will still protect her."  
  
"I will," he mumbles as sleep overtakes him. "The Hound protects everyone."  
  
…  
  
2.  
  
"And of all the ANBU, the bravest of the brave was the Hound, the tales of his courage spreading long and wide throughout the land," Kakashi recites the words by rota, his voice flat and emotionless, his fists clenched tightly while he glares daggers at the worn book and the porcelain mask on top of it. "What a joke!"  
  
He wants to take the mask and hurl it against the wall, smash it into a million pieces, burn the book that had been his favourite since he was but a toddler and his mother read it to him, before he knew the ANBU and the Hound were real. Before he learned who wore the red and white porcelain mask, and that it would become his responsibility soon enough.  
  
Too soon that day has come.  
  
He's angry, so angry he doesn't think his small body can contain so much rage. He's angry at the world, angry at the village that has turned against his father for one wrong decision, angry at everyone who is pitying him and at the same time pushing him to be his father's replacement.  
  
And he's furious with his father, because instead of facing the consequences of his actions he's taken the easy way out, and with it he's destroyed everything Kakashi has always aspired to be.  
  
And he's left Kakashi alone and scared, with too big shoes to fill. He can't afford to be scared though, so he gives in to the anger.  
  
" _Bravest of the brave_ ," he snarls, voice breaking and too high, the tears strangling it. "What you did wasn't brave, it was  _cowardly._  You don't deserve the name of Hound, you don't deserve the mask." He takes a breath and makes a vow. "I will wear the mask, it is mine now and soon I'll become the Hound, I won't let anyone else disgrace his or the Hatake name. I will be the best ANBU there's ever been, I will make them forget about you. You will see. I will make the Hound the bravest again."  
  
…  
  
3.  
  
Iruka runs, laughing and challenging his sensei, the breath coming out from his mouth in harsh pants, his legs burning with the effort. He looks back to see if Niko-sensei is following him, to check the distance he might have managed to gain or lose as he keeps jumping from tree to tree.  
  
Maybe this last prank has been too much, if the shouts and threats he can still hear are any indication; Niko-sensei is usually quite level headed and has a sense of humour, but her face as she rounded on Iruka, eyes ablaze with fury, means he might have gone to far this time. It doesn't matter, it's done, and the only thing now is to stay out of sight for a couple of hours until things calm down. He can't see Niko-sensei behind him though she's still in pursuit, and Iruka knows of a good hiding place around that part of the woods.  
  
His plan gets derailed the instant he crosses by the clearing, but it doesn't matter anymore. The clearing is not empty, and Iruka has made enough noise to have called the attention of the people engaged in battle there, except he doesn't believe they have heard him. The sound of their clashing swords is loud enough to have masked Iruka's entrance, their attention completely focused on each other. There is a shinobi already dead on the ground, a pool of blood spreading around them. Iruka recognizes the hitai-ate as belonging to wave, and maybe he didn't know they were enemies, but one of the combatants is a Konoha ANBU, so they must be.  
  
He's frozen on the spot taking in the skill of the battle, the quick parry and deadly dance; it's almost impossible to distinguish individual movements, the fighters  _flowing_  against each other too fast and smooth, only the ringing of metal on metal signifying the hits. Iruka had known there was a gap in skill between ANBU and the rest of shinobi, but what he's seeing is not a gap, is a  _chasm_ , this ANBU's skill is so far beyond anything he has ever seen he doubts he can match it if he trains the rest of his life. He sees the mask then, recognizing the features instantly. They are the same ones that adorned his favourite book as a kid.  
  
 _The Hound._  
  
He feels his heart stuttering in his chest at the same time he sees a change in the fight, the wave shinobi slowing down, a spray of blood spurting from his neck right before his head its separated from it. Iruka is torn between cheering in excitement for the amazing fight he has just witnessed, and cringing in horror from the blood and death filling the clearing.  
  
Hound stops moving then, his knees buckling, and blood dripping from the place where the wave shinobi's sword is stuck in his chest. He doesn't make any sound as he crumples to the ground; the whole scene since Iruka arrived lasting no more than thirty seconds. It is this last, the silence, what finally spurs Iruka into action; he rushes forward dropping to his knees next to the fallen ANBU.  
  
He yells at the top of his lungs for his sensei, any concern he might have for the punishment for his prank completely forgotten. Hound tenses as he finally notices Iruka, his body relaxing minutely as he sees him properly. A Konoha genin wouldn't be much of a threat for the legendary ANBU in normal circumstances, and even injured like this, Iruka has no doubt he would still be a challenge.  
  
He checks the wound quickly, relieved to notice that the sword hasn't come out from the back. "Don't move, help is on the way," Iruka says, forcing his mind to remember everything his teacher said about healing jutsu and sword wounds. The lesson is still fresh in his mind, and he quickly makes the signs he needs to attempt to stem the blood flow and puts his hands on both sides of the sword, shouting again for his sensei. He feels the blood under his hands, warm and sticky and slowly flowing between his fingers, and Niko-sensei is taking forever to reach them and if she doesn't soon, Iruka is going to be forced to remove his hands and yank the sword out himself, and he's not sure that's a good idea because it's a two person job and he probably doesn't have enough strength and it's going to cause more harm than good, and the last thing Iruka wants is to hurt Hound any more than he already is.  
  
"Not much more harm you can do," Hound rasps, and his voice is weak and incredibly young, and Iruka didn't notice he was talking out loud.  
  
His entire face feels hot, and he's about to apologize when Niko-sensei crashes into the clearing, proving again why she is Iruka's favourite by not wasting even a second before she moves to Iruka's side, her hands sure on the hilt of the sword, her voice firm and calming, the previous prank and chase already forgotten.  
  
“He will live,” Niko-sensei says afterwards, the sword carelessly discarded on the ground, Hound’s wound roughly closed as they wait for the medical team to arrive. “You saved him, you should be proud.”  
  
Iruka looks at the blood in his hands and the dead bodies of the wave shinobi, and he remembers his admiration of Hound’s skill as he killed the other man, and how tired and young Hound had sounded.  
  
And yes, he should be proud.   
  
He can't understand why he isn’t.  
  
…  
  
4.  
  
The bar is full of people, rowdy shinobi drinking and celebrating the fact that they are still alive after whatever missions they have just come back from.  
  
When you are a shinobi, Kakashi guesses, every celebration counts because you never know which mission is going to finally kill you. If you are ANBU, every day off duty and still alive should be a party. Or at least that's what Anko seems to believe, and the reason she has dragged him to this place. He'd much rather be at home enjoying a good book and a good meal, or maybe annoying his ninken and catching up on much needed sleep.  
  
Instead he's sitting in a booth at one of the most crowded bars in Konoha, nursing a beer and wishing Anko would finally decide whether she's going to make Gai shut up with her tongue down his throat or her hands round his neck.  
  
Any way she does is a win for Kakashi; he intends to leave the instant they are distracted. He's getting tired of the conversations around him, the main theme the same one it always is.  
  
"It really happened, my cousin Hikaru saw it with his own eyes," one of the guys sitting in the table next to them is saying, his voice lowered as if he were imparting a secret, the attention of all his friends riveted in his every word. "It was the Fox, he can recognize that mask anywhere, has all kinds of ANBU things that he’s collected since we were kids, and he says Fox defeated three enemies with just one jutsu. He’s so big, like you wouldn’t believe, almost seven foot tall and has the biggest hands ever. And he carries a sword almost as tall as he is!"  
  
Anko snorts at the same time everyone in the table exclaims impressed. She likes listening to these stories as much as Kakashi dislikes it, loves the made up tales of their exploits. She's a favourite, her fame nowadays only surpassed by his, which is the reason she always wants to go there and Kakashi keeps resisting.  
  
"That’s a lie!" a girl in the table says, picking up the conversation once the noise has died a little, " _I_  did see the Fox once, and  _she_  isn’t seven foot tall, or has huge hands. But she’s strong. My team was coming back from an escort mission when we were attacked by a group of missing-nin, and before we had a chance to do anything they appeared. The one with her was the Hawk, who is the really tall one, and they were so strong. They were using jutsu I have never seen before, and  _Hawk_  had a long sword. The missing-nin were all dead in less than a minute!"  
  
"At least most of that one is true," Gai says, his tone as soft and low as Kakashi has ever heard it. In the table next to them the noise has reached new levels, and someone else is telling their story. "Though it was more than a minute, and we didn't come out unscathed."  
  
Kakashi nods, because he knows the story as well, he heard it from Gai and it was much less impressive, and more horrifying, when they were waiting outside the hospital for news on Anko's recovery. He suddenly stands up, wanting to be anywhere but there.  
  
"I have--"  
  
"Tell us about the time you saw the Hound, Iruka!"  
  
The words make Kakashi stop, an image from the past coming to the forefront of his memory. A boy staring at him in horror, hands drenched in his blood and his voice high and panicked, mumbling nonsense and keeping Kakashi tethered to the world just for enough time. He remembers the boy, the scar crossing his nose and the warm brown eyes. He made a point to learn the name of the one who saved him, Umino Iruka, and he just  _knows_  that he's about to hear the events of that day narrated for everyone's amusement.  
  
Iruka has the biggest bragging rights among his friends, he did save the Hound's life.  
  
"It was a long time ago." Kakashi hears him say, the voice matching the one in his memories perfectly. "And it was nothing."  
  
The rest of the table groans in disappointment, the guy who spoke before goading Iruka. “Come on, Iruka. I heard Niko-sensei talking about it once. I know you were there and saw the fight! How was he? Or is it a girl? It’s the  _Hound_ , Iruka! We  _need_  to know!”  
  
“I don’t remember,” Iruka says, voice clipped and tense, and Kakashi can hear the noise of a chair being dragged on the floor. “I’m going to get another beer, any drinks?”  
  
Anko is staring at Kakashi with a half smile on her face. “I remember Iruka when we were kids,” she says, surprising him. “He used to pretend he was the Hound and could save us all. Then his parents died with half of the village, and he stopped pretending to be anything but a clown, but he still loved his ANBU tales. Then, one day, he stopped. Suddenly he didn’t want to be one anymore, he wanted to be a teacher. I never knew what made him change his mind. ” Anko turns her attention back to Gai, her message, whatever it is, delivered. She grabs him by the front of his uniform and crashes their mouths together, decision made. That’s Kakashi cue to leave, but instead of heading to the door he moves to the bar, sitting on the empty stool next to Iruka.  
  
“So you saw the Hound fight,” he hears himself saying, and Iruka’s head whips in his direction, his eyes widening minutely when he recognizes Kakashi. “I was sitting in the table next to you, I couldn’t help hearing the conversation.”  
  
“I didn’t take you for one interested in fairy-tales, Hatake-san,” Iruka says, coldly polite. There is a rumour in the village that Kakashi is part of ANBU, as one of the youngest jounin ever and heir to one of the oldest bloodlines, it makes sense though there is no proof.  
  
“I am not, I am just curious as to why you won’t share it if that’s the case.”  
  
Iruka looks at him, his expression wary. This close Kakashi can almost superimpose the image of the kid who pressed his hands against his bleeding chest while he babbled, and the young man he has become. The scar is still there, marring his otherwise perfect face, his eyes are still as warm and he remembers. What he didn’t notice at the time since they were both very young, and Kakashi was dying, was how beautiful he is. The tanned skin and full lips, the dark hair pulled in a ponytail and a body that is strong and defined, perfectly showcased by the chuunin uniform.  
  
He drinks from his beer and takes a breath, coming to a decision. “They don’t understand what it means to be ANBU,” Iruka begins, eyes fixed on his hands, and Kakashi wonders if he sees the blood there, wonder what can he know when he’s never been one of them. “We grow up with tales of the ANBU as our favourite fairy-tale, but have you noticed how in all the stories there is always someone who ends up dead? We’re all shinobi, we’re trained as soldiers since we’re old enough to stand. ANBU are elite soldiers, they are the best at their job.”  
  
Maybe he understands enough.  
  
“And their job is killing,” Kakashi finishes for him.  
  
Iruka nods, finishing his beer in one long gulp. “I guess at some point I grew up and realized that, and sharing stories lost the appeal.” He stands up, casting another look at his group of friends. “I guess I should get back to them.”  
  
“Or you could stay here with me,” Kakashi says, gesturing for two more beers. “I am sure a future Academy Instructor has more hair raising tales than anything with ANBU in it.”  
  
Iruka stares at him, considering, before sitting down again and grabbing his beer with a smile. “Well, I think I can manage a few.”  
  
…  
  
5.  
  
The last day of class has been draining, something Iruka had never imagined when he decided he wanted to teach; running herd on a bunch of hyperactive pre-genin and trying to teach them how to use pointy things without hurting themselves or the other kids, and trying to keep their attention so they can learn the skills to stay alive is more exhausting than they advertised, but the wealth of amusing anecdotes and hilarious stories he’s accruing more than make up for it.  
  
He can’t wait for Kakashi to come back from his mission so he can tell him everything about them.  
  
It’s been almost six months since Kakashi left on his mission, leaving Iruka with nothing but a kiss and a quick glimpse of his handsome face before disappearing, and at that time Iruka had been torn between fury and amusement. It was so much like Kakashi, to move at a glacial pace for almost two years of friendship and unsubtle flirting and then suddenly move forward just before he had to leave, leaving Iruka in a kind of limbo wondering what next.  
  
As soon as Kakashi comes back, Iruka is going to kiss him as he’s been dreaming for the past months. Then, he’s going to kill him.  
  
As if summoned by Iruka’s thoughts, Kakashi is inside his apartment when he opens the door.  
  
“Yo,” he says as Iruka stares, struck dumb by his sudden appearance and his casual invasion of Iruka’s space. He’s lounging on the couch with a book in his hand, dressed only in loose black sweatpants and a black t-shirt, his unmasked face is as beautiful as Iruka has been thinking from the little he saw, his lips full and curled in a smile, the dark circles under his eyes the only sign that he’s just arrived from his mission.  
  
He’s as relaxed as Iruka has ever seen him, and the impulse of jumping him is very strong. He doesn’t even bother to fight it, closing the door and crossing the space that separates them in an instant. He grabs the book from Kakashi’s hand and tosses it carelessly on top of the coffee table, and before Kakashi can do more than open his mouth, either to laugh or protest, Iruka has pressed their mouths together, taking advantage of Kakashi’s surprise to invade his mouth, tasting him deeply. Kakashi kisses back immediately, his entire body shaking with laughter.  
  
“You know how to welcome someone back, Sensei,” Kakashi pants against his mouth when they have to break apart, the need for oxygen too great.  
  
“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Iruka says, pressing small kisses against his jaw, “once I’ve had enough kisses, I intend to murder you.”  
  
Kakashi laughs again, moving away from Iruka. “That’s not a great incentive to keep kissing you, now is it?”  
  
Iruka moves forward, pressing them together again, “If you stop kissing me, I’ll kill you,” he growls, capturing Kakashi’s lips again. They end up rubbing against each other on the couch, kissing all the time while Iruka stretches on top of Kakashi, bodies flush against each other, hips pushing, rutting frantically like the teenagers they were not too long ago. It’s not the most elegant, and it’s definitely not the way Iruka had imagined his first time with Kakashi, and he’s had six long months to imagine how that first time was going to go, but it’s perfect and sweet and the noises Kakashi is making will give Iruka enough material for the lonely nights when he’s away again.  
  
They come like that, panting into each other’s mouths, hands gripping hips and asses and any available part hard enough to bruise.  
  
“I need a shower now,” Iruka says once he has his breathing back. He moves away from Kakashi’s body, grimacing at the uncomfortable feeling of his underwear sticking to his body. Kakashi is also standing from the couch, an expression that is half smug and half embarrassed on his face, as he takes his t-shirt off.  
  
“I hope you have anything I can wear,” he’s saying, but Iruka is not hearing it, his attention sorely focused on Kakashi’s arm.  
  
Kakashi has an ANBU tattoo.  
  
 _Kakashi has an ANBU tattoo_  and Iruka can recall every single conversation they have had since that first one at the bar, how Iruka called them killers and Kakashi agreed. There has always been a rumour about Kakashi being ANBU, but after some time Iruka figured it was just that, a rumour.   
  
The mood in the room changes when Kakashi notices him staring, he tenses and Iruka can tell that the only thing that is keeping him from bolting, or covering his tattoo, is his training. That snaps him out of it.  
  
Iruka raises sheepish eyes at Kakashi whose expression is carefully blank, and rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I guess I won’t ask about your mission,” he says, acknowledging what he’s seen. “So I will have to tell you everything about my class of pre-genin instead.”  
  
Kakashi exhales, the tension leaving his body in a rush of air. “Shower first, Iruka.”  
  
“Ok,” Iruka smiles, stealing a kiss before they head to the bathroom. “Shower first.”  
  
…  
  
6.  
  
"You know, this used to be my favourite book," Iruka says, holding reverently the copy of Tales of the ANBU he has found in one of Kakashi's boxes. He can tell it's an old and well loved copy, probably one that has been passed down generations of Hatakes, the covers a bit faded and the pages thumbed and worn. He feels a pang of longing for his own copy, lost like so many other things from his family a lifetime ago. Kakashi looks up from the box he's unpacking; trinkets, souvenirs, and the entire Icha Icha collection slowly filling the spaces Iruka has cleared in his shelves. He's not surprised about the Icha Icha, he's more curious about this. "My mother used to read it to me when I was a kid."  
  
"I think all mothers have read it to their children," Kakashi says, returning his attention to his unpacking.  
  
That is probably true, and Iruka knows most children in Konoha grow up dreaming about being the Hound, or the Fox, another favourite ANBU for the kids. Still, he can't help the flush on his face as he hears himself say, "I wanted to be the Hound."  
  
Kakashi stops rummaging in the bottom of the box in front of him, his entire body freezing in place. "All children do," he finally says, his voice as casual and unconcerned as Iruka has ever heard it, and he can tell this is one of those  _here be dragons_  moments he's learned to navigate since he decided that having a relationship with Hatake Kakashi was worth the occasional awkward moment.  
  
It is the elephant in the room and has been since they started going out, Kakashi’s strained relationship with the ANBU, and the unacknowledged fact that he’s one of them. Iruka has never pushed Kakashi, has allowed the silences after difficult missions and the secrecy, the visits from Anko and Gai and Yamato in which they suddenly fall silent, changing topics in the most unsubtle of ways. They all know he’s not stupid, Iruka knows they are all ANBU even if he doesn’t know who wears which mask. Maybe it’s time for him to push, because they have been together for _years_ , and they are moving together. Iruka is tired of not being able to kiss the tattoo without Kakashi stiffening, is tired of not being able to comfort him when he comes back from an ANBU screwed-up mission, is tired of only sharing one side of Kakashi’s life.  
  
He’s in this for the long haul; he’ll take the dark alongside the light.  
  
 _He pushes._  
  
"Of course they do, who wouldn't want to be the  _bravest of the brave_?" He doesn't miss the subtle stiffening of Kakashi's posture, some pieces slowly slotting into place. "I imagine they will be as disappointed as I was when I learned that some of the ANBU masks and names are passed down family lines."  
  
Most of the oldest lineages have their own mask, passed down generations like a bloodline limit. Kakashi comes from one of the oldest and strongest lineages, Iruka knows, feels like he has known the entire time the solution to the riddle.  
  
"There are more than enough unclaimed ANBU masks.” Kakashi says, moving from the box currently opened to another one, not looking up at Iruka.  
  
“Maybe, but their names are not in the book.” Kakashi is retreating, putting more distance between them, avoiding the conversation with the practice of years. Normally Iruka would let him, but not today. "You know, I once saw the Hound fight."  
  
And there it is, written in Kakashi's expression as he looks up from the box, eyes narrowed, challenging. "Did you now?"   
  
"Yes, it was the most beautiful and terrifying moment. The way he moved, the skill, the fluidity of his body. I remember watching and thinking I wouldn't be able to match that skill if I trained my entire life," he says, lips twisted in a bittersweet smile. Now he knows he was right, has enough experience to know he would never reach that level, and he's perfectly fine with that. He doesn't need to. "That was the beautiful part."  
  
"And the terrifying? Were you scared of him?"  
  
"No, not of him."   
  
They stare at each other in silence for a few instants, and Iruka can see the moment Kakashi accepts his words as the truth, acknowledges that is time for the secret to come out. He nods once and goes to a small box tucked into a corner of the room, and Iruka feels lost for a moment, not sure if they have finished the conversation.   
  
"I've never told anyone, I never thought anyone would believe it," Iruka says to Kakashi's back. "But that day I think I saved the Hound's life."  
  
When Kakashi turns back, the Hound's mask is in his hand. He puts it in the shelf next to the book.  
  
"Not only that day."  
  
...


End file.
